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A life worth loving


Do you love your life? If not, it's time to break down the walls and build something you love!


This year began with a bang. Literally. Uncharacteristic of my tendency to rest and recoup after the happy but full holidays, we spent our January making last minute adjustments to plans and gathering supplies, then finally emptying out the closet, moving toothbrushes and shampoo into the kids’ bathroom, and delivering the first big bang (of many to come) that brought our bathroom walls crumbling down. All in the name of independence and freedom and ease. Safety too. It’s been years (holy cow!) since I’ve been able to get in and out of the shower by myself. And in those years are countless struggles inside these tight corners and short hallways of our bathroom. My husband’s lifted my body - with my walker between us, no less - to get me onto the toilet. He’s stabilized my collapsing knees so I could stand long enough to rinse my mouth of foaming toothpaste. I’ve skipped showering (more than I care to admit) when he’s working late or off adventuring in the mountains. I’ve literally crawled on my hands and knees to the toilet a few times. And so this new year - for us - is coming with a new bathroom. The plan: Bring down every single wall. Leave the pathway (to the toilet, my clothes, the sink, the shower, all of it!) clear and open. Add a bench in the opening of the shower so I can easily get in and out. Take away the cabinet under the sink so I can roll right under. And start living life to the fullest… for real.

 

A fresh start

I guess I could feel depressed about needing it and about how much the project is requiring in effort and finances. I could probably be digging in my heels - like I stubbornly have for over two years - about doing anything major like this, in hopes it wouldn't be needed. I could probably have convinced both of us that it wasn’t worth the money or all the time Matt’s pouring into it. But there’s more - so much more - than two months’ worth of my husband’s blood, sweat and tears in this project (although I’m grateful for that too). I can feel it in the smooth floor and the open space under the countertop. I can smell it in the fresh paint and see it in the wide open shower. It’s a fresh start. For me. For Matt. For all of us. It’s permission to stop holding our breath for the healing we hope will come someday. And instead make our life easier and better today. Inside this beautiful, open space is an invitation to love my life. Love my body. Love this moment. Just as it is.

For love

And isn’t that, in the end, what we’re really all searching for? For love? Because love, I’m convinced, is the gateway to the very best life we have in us. When you love what you do, your most meaningful work is born. When you love who you’re with, there’s little room for regret. When you love what you have, you have everything you need. When you love who you are, your light is unstoppable. And when you love your life, well... it’s because you’ve built it that way. I’ll admit that building a life you love is tricky business. And if you're not careful you'll find yourself inside a beautifully built life that looks just like everyone else's. Then wonder why love is nowhere in sight. You'll do the job that’s expected of you. You’ll tirelessly search for that outfit or haircut to look as cute as her. You’ll say yes to every invitation, favor, and opportunity (because you “should”). And you'll have a bathroom with walls that make your life much harder than it needs to be. And that is not the point, dear friend. Love will rarely be found in someone else's masterpiece. Which means it’s time to renovate. So tweak your routines to make space for what matters most. Ditch your phone and be present. Set boundaries you’ve never allowed yourself to before, and give yourself a compliment or two while you’re at it. Clear an afternoon for a new heart and soul project. Wear what you feel beautiful in and toss everything else. Stop living on autopilot and wake up with joy. Trade scrolling through social media for a genuine conversation. Make decisions from your heart, not from comparison. Let go of everything and start fresh. This life is yours to live. Break down the walls and build something you love.

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