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In loving memory

In loving memory of my step dad

In loving memory of my step dad, Gary Barr, who passed away one week ago today. His 4-year battle with cancer was highlighted with incredible strength and determination. But most of all, it showed me - in the most real form - what unconditional love looks like as he and my mom faced this incredibly daunting battle together. Side by side and hand in hand, always. Gary, I know this isn't goodbye forever. But I still miss you.

It was a privilege to be asked by him to speak at his funeral. These are the thoughts I shared.

One of the biggest gifts Gary gave me as a step dad was the love he had for my mom. If you ask me they were meant to find one another and be together. Gary loved music :) This is the song that he wanted me to share. He said it's the song that always made him think about my mom. It's called Little Green Apples.

Well I wake up in the morning
With my hair down in my eyes and she says 'hi'
Then I stumble to the breakfast table
Where the kids are going off to school, goodbye
Then she reaches out takes my hand and squeezes it
And says 'how you feeling hon?'
Then I look across the smiling lips
That warms my heart and see my morning sun.

And if that's not loving me then all I've got to say
'God didn't make those little green apples
It don't rain in Indianapolis in the summer time
And there's no such thing as Dr. Seuss,
or Disneyland or mother goose or nursery rhymes
'God didn't make those little green apples
It don't rain in Indianapolis in the summer time
And when myself is feeling low I think about her face
Aglow to ease my mind.

Sometimes I call her up at home knowing she's busy
And asked her if she can get away and meet me
And grab a bite to eat
And she drops what she's doing hurries down to meet me
And I'm always late.

But she sits waiting patiently smiles when she first sees me
'Cos she's made that way.

And if that's not loving me all then all I've got to say
'God didn't make those little green apples.

Gary said more than once that he couldn't have lived through the last four years without my mom. He said she was his sunshine. But really when it comes down to it, I know he was the sunshine in their relationship just as much as she was. He brought my mom so much happiness and so much healing. As kids who love their mom, we couldn't have asked for anything better. Gary saved her, and so he saved us kids too.

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